Alive in Your Heart Forever
by roundin3rd
Summary: Tragedy can strike anytime anywhere, even when you least expect it. R
1. Prologue

The sunlight somehow found a way to peek out from behind the thick, gray clouds. It had been rainy the last couple of days as a dreary cold front hung over Cape Cod.  
  
A red Honda Civic slowly drove onto the narrow gravel pathway. The driver turned off the ignition, and drew in a deep breath of the salty sea air.  
  
The smell of the ocean and the creek brought back so many memories of her childhood. She missed this place terribly. As much as she wanted to move back, the pain of living here would be overwhelming.  
  
She sat quietly in the car for a minute as the brief sunlight warmed her face. Today she was visiting someone very close to her that she had not talked to since her last memory of him, one year prior.  
  
Her hands gently started to shake as she reached for the bouquet of flowers on the passenger seat. She grabbed a tissue before stepping out of the car.  
  
With the sun to her back and the bouquet of flowers cradled in her arms, Joey slowly walked up the hill. 


	2. Chapter 1

"Hey, don't hog all the ice cream." Joey said as she grabbed the gallon of cookie dough from Pacey. They rented a movie and were sharing a tub of ice cream. Just as the movie finished, the phone rang.  
  
Pacey answered, "Hello?" "Hey Pacey." He immediately recognized his friend's voice. "Hey Dawson, how are you?" Joey looked up and Pacey put the speakerphone on. "Hi, Dawson." She said. "Hey Jo." Dawson said. "How is everything in the city of angels?" Pacey asked.  
  
"Oh, everything is going well, the show is surprisingly running smoothly." "Uh, but anyway, I'm flying in tomorrow." Dawson said. "Oh yeah that's right." Joey said. "Yeah, I'm staying for a week so," "Oh great we'll come down and visit." Joey said. "Ok, um I guess I'll see you soon then." Dawson said. "Ok Dawson, talk to you later." Pacey said. "Bye."  
  
Pacey picked up the remote and started flipping the channels. "Nope, Nope, Uh, no." "There is absolutely nothing, oh the Bruins!" He stopped and watched the game. "Want to watch this with me?" He asked. Joey sighed, "I guess so."  
  
She sat closer to him and he put his arm around her. "Y'know, hockey is one of the sports where I just can't keep track of the rules." "I mean, baseball, you hit the ball and run around the bases, simple." "But hockey you have guys with missing teeth, they get into fights and it's very violent." Pacey chuckled, "Yeah, but that's what makes it exciting." "Well, they aren't even winning." Joey said.  
  
"Well, they've been in a little bit of a slump lately, but they'll bounce back." Pacey said. "That's what it means to be a New England sports fan, you stick by your team no matter what." Joey yawned, "I'm tired, I think I'm gonna go to bed now." "So early?" "It's only ten o'clock." Pacey said.  
  
"Yeah, well I had a busy day." She kissed him goodnight. "Goodnight." Pacey said. "Night Pace."  
  
***  
  
Joey turned and looked at the clock on the table. 10:14pm. She picked up the phone and dialed Pacey at the restaurant. "Hello?" He answered. "Hi, it's me." "Hey Jo, I was just going to call you." He said. "I'm not going to be home until late tonight, y'know, it's Saturday night and this place is packed." "Oh, yeah well that's why I was calling, I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come home." She said. "Yeah I'm gonna be late tonight, so don't wait up for me." Joey sighed, "Okay, I'll just go to bed early then." She said. "Okay, sweetheart, I'll talk to you later." Pacey said.  
  
"Okay, I love you." "I love you too Jo, bye." "Bye Pace."  
  
***  
  
Pacey exhaled and ran a hand through his gelled hair. He glanced at his watch, 12:37am. He sighed thankful that his work was finally finished and that the restaurant had emptied. He got up and made the rounds, checking the kitchen, shutting doors and turning off lights. Pacey finally left around one.  
  
***  
  
On the drive home, Pacey stopped and picked up a burger at Wendy's. He hadn't eaten anything since lunch and his stomach was gurgling. The road was quiet, with hardly any cars passing him.  
  
He reached across the seat for the packet of fries and turned on the radio. "Broke into the old apartment." He sang along, "This is where we used to live." "How is the neighbor downstairs, how is her temper this year?" "I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun."  
  
Pacey reached for the burger and took his eyes off the road for a minute. A car on the other side of the road caught his attention. Pacey took one glance at the car as the headlights blinded him. The minutes turned split seconds as the car started to swerve toward him. Pacey gripped the wheel and tried to cut away. The car slammed into Pacey's front end with tremendous force.  
  
The driver of the other car was thrown through the windshield and hit Pacey's car. Pacey was instantly knocked unconscious.  
  
***  
  
Paramedics arrived on scene immediately. The rushed and had to use the Jaws of Life to remove Pacey from the totaled car. The other driver was killed instantly.  
  
The police stayed and investigated the accident. They believed that the man that hit Pacey was probably drunk by the tire marks in the road. There was a call earlier that a man who just committed a robbery, was fleeing down route 99. An officer walked over to a paramedic. "Y'know that guy (Pacey) is luck to be alive." "If he wasn't wearing a seatbelt, he wouldn't be here right now." 


	3. Chapter 2

The loud ringing phone woke Joey from her peaceful sleep. She turned over and, at 2:30am, wondered where Pacey was. She reached for the phone to silence the loud ringing.  
  
"Hello?" She groaned. "Hi, is this Josephine Witter?" The voice on the other end of the line was gruff. "Yes it is, is there a problem?" She questioned. "Mrs. Witter, your husband was involved in a serious car accident about an hour ago."  
  
Joey couldn't find words right away. "Oh my God, is, is he alright?" "Paramedics have taken him to Beth Israel Hospital, he is listed in critical condition."  
  
Tears pricked at her eyes. "Uh, thank you, I'll get down there as fast as I can." "I hope he is alright, he'll be in my prayers." The officer said. "Thank you, goodbye." She said. "Goodbye."  
  
***  
  
The drive to the hospital was excruciating and it was the hardest ride Joey had to live through. Words and thoughts were racing through her head. 'In critical condition.' She didn't want to think about how serious the situation could be. Joey stepped on the gas, desperate to get to Pacey as fast as she could.  
  
***  
  
Joey hated hospitals. They were places of sorrow and suffering. The last two times she was in a hospital, she had to watch people she loved lay in misery and distress.  
  
Joey hurried into the front entrance and strode over to the receptionist. It took all of her effort not to burst out in tears as soon as she stepped foot inside.  
  
"Hello, I'm wondering if you know what room Pacey Witter is in?" "I got a call that he was in a car accident and he was sent here." Joey said. She quickly wiped her eyes to stop the tears from coming.  
  
The woman checked her computer. "Pacey Witter was checked into the Intensive Care Unit about an hour ago." Joey paused, "Uh, can you tell me where that is?"  
  
"Certainly, ICU is located in the east wing, on the second floor, a nurse there will direct you to what room Mr. Witter is in." She said. "Thank you very much." Joey set off to see her husband.  
  
***  
  
"Hello, my name is Josephine Witter, I'm looking for my husband, Pacey." The nurse checked her paperwork. "Mr. Witter is in room 348, the doctors are examining him right now so you are going to have to wait a little while." The nurse answered. "Thank you."  
  
Joey ambled over to a waiting room chair and sat down. All she wanted to do was see his face and hold his hand to ease her pain and his. She sat in the chair for close to an hour, nursing a hot cup of coffee and an occasional tissue.  
  
The precious minutes ticked away as Joey became more and more nervous. She didn't want to call anyone just yet because she wanted to see Pacey first.  
  
The TV was on and Joey watched it for a minute as Everybody Loves Raymond was on. It was her favorite show, but right now she wasn't in the mood to laugh at it.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, a doctor approached her. "Excuse me, are you Josephine Witter?" He asked. "Yes, yes I am." Joey said. "Hi, I'm Dr. Epstein." "Hi." Joey shook his hand as he sat down beside her.  
  
"We are just examining him, checking for his vital signs as we do with all patients in critical condition." Joey listened intently. "He has severe head trauma and his leg is badly broken, that will need surgery." "We are working on stabilizing him right now, you should be able to see him very soon."  
  
Joey was trying to process all of the information that was just given to her. "Do you have any questions?" The doctor asked. "Uh, no not at the moment." Joey said. "Okay, now I need you to fill out this medical information form." He handed her a clipboard. "I'll let you know as soon as possible when you can see him." "Thank you." Joey said.  
  
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, realizing that this was going to be a long and agonizing night. 


	4. Chapter 3

The forms did not take Joey long to fill out, insurance, allergies, medical history. She returned them to the nurse's station around 4:30am, almost two hours after she arrived.  
  
As soon as Joey sat back down in a seat, a nurse came up to her with the words she was waiting to heart all night; "you can go in and see him now." She said.  
  
Joey got up and followed the nurse to Pacey's room. She walked in slowly, and looked in.  
  
He was sleeping peacefully. She could see his chest heavily rising and falling with each breath. He had an IV in his arm and he had an oxygen tube in his nose. A heart monitor was beeping with every heartbeat and Joey could see the monitor recording his pulse. His head was bandaged and there were cuts and stitches on his face, and his left arm was wrapped in an Ace bandage.  
  
Joey walked over to his bedside as tears welled up in her soft eyes. She kneeled by him and took his hand in hers. At that moment she prayed that he would be all right. She kissed his hand and gently rubbed it with her thumb.  
  
Pacey felt something warm on his hand and slowly opened his eyes. He saw that it was Joey and their eyes met and she managed a small smile. "Hey Joey, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He spoke in a staggered whisper. Joey quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.  
  
"Jo, don't cry." "Pacey, I was so worried about you." She sobbed. "Joey, honey, It's okay I'm right here and I'm going to be all right." He brought his hand to her face and stroked her cheek. "Come here, lay down with me."  
  
Joey stood and took out a tissue to wipe her eyes as she slowly climbed into the bed with him. Pacey put his arm around her and kissed her hair. "It's all right sweetheart, I'm here now," He whispered gently, "and I'm not going anywhere."  
  
***  
  
After staying with Pacey, for some time, Joey called Bessie and Dawson to inform them about what happened. They immediately rushed up to the hospital to see him. Pacey's family came for a brief time to see him as well.  
  
Overall, Pacey showed signs of improvement in days. Joey never left his side. The talked about little things and past memories of the old times they had together. Most of the time, Pacey would just zone out and fall asleep in the middle of a story. Joey was concerned about this; she could see in his eyes when he looked at her that he was still in an intense amount of pain.  
  
After spending the day at the hospital, the friends left to go home. Joey stayed with Pacey for a little bit longer. "So, you have to go in for your leg surgery tomorrow." Joey said. "Yeah, what time is that?" Pacey asked. "It's at eight o'clock, don't worry, I'll be here so you don't get scared." She smiled at him.  
  
He laughed but soon stopped as a surge of pain radiated through his body. "Oh, are you okay?" Joey lightly touched his shoulder. He closed his eyes. "Yeah, it still hurts though." "Did they give you pain medicine?" Joey asked. "Yeah they did about an hour ago, I'm just waiting for it to kick in."  
  
"Do you want me to stay a little longer, because I can." "No, Joey, it's alright, it's ten o'clock, you should go home and get some sleep." Pacey said. "Are you sure?" she asked. He took her hand, "yes I'm sure, I'll be fine." Joey leaned over and gave him a kiss. "I love you." She whispered. "I love you too." Pacey said. If you want me, just call home and I'll come right down." "I know." He said. She gave him one last kiss before she left.  
  
"Goodbye, see you tomorrow." She said. "Bye honey." Pacey said.  
  
***  
  
Joey returned to the lonely apartment around eleven. An eerie silence echoed through their apartment. Without Pacey there, their house looked dull. He was the life of the place, always cooking something that smelled delicious, watching baseball games on TV, or even when he fell asleep in his chair he lit up the room.  
  
Joey ambled over to the chair he loved so much and collapsed into it. She reclined back and smelled the intoxicating odor of cologne on the fabric. Joey inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Within minutes she fell sound asleep.  
  
***  
  
Around 6:00am, the ringing phone, again, interrupted her sleep. Joey quickly got up and walked over to answer it. "Hello?" "Hello, Mrs. Witter this is Dr, Epstein at Beth Israel." Joey took a deep breath as her stomach plummeted. "I-is everything alright?" she asked nervously.  
  
"Mrs. Witter, about an hour ago, Pacey started worsening." "We were concerned of possible swelling of the brain and the amount of oxygen that was reaching the brain." Joey chocked back tears as she listened to the heartbreaking words. "Mrs. Witter, as of a half an hour ago, your husband has slipped into a coma."  
  
"Oh god." Joey had no control over her tears now. She had just been given the words that would change her life. 


	5. Chapter 4

Joey, Dawson, Jack, Doug, Bessie and Pacey's parents sat miserably in a state of overwhelming melancholy. Bessie sat next to Joey, comforting her and holding her hand. There were occasional glances towards someone else but no words were spoken.  
  
There was nothing to say. No words could describe how anyone was feeling. The only loud sound came from the patter of the violent rain on the window.  
  
Joey was numb. She prayed and prayed for the man she loved more than life itself to come back to her. She was dying inside, it killed her to wait outside his room as doctors and nurses struggled to pull him out of the unresponsive, sleeplike state that he was now living and breathing in. Just thinking about the word made her shudder and brought tears to her eyes.  
  
The comfort of her friends around her gave Joey a reassuring feeling that everything was going to be all right. But still she prayed and hoped, just like everyone else.  
  
After what seemed like hours, a doctor approached her and informed her on Pacey's condition. Joey's mind went blank as the doctor spoke of terms that Joey had never heard of. As she feared, Pacey wasn't improving. They had placed him on a ventilator, his brain swelling had damaged some brain tissue and if he came out of the coma, he would have a moderate disability.  
  
After living through the worst waiting period of her life, she was allowed to see him. She rose from her seat and before walking through the wooden double doors, she turned with glistening tears in her eyes and looked around the room at the people she loved, for one last time.  
  
Joey gripped the cold handle of the door and slowly opened it, laying her eyes on Pacey, lying helplessly on the bed. His eyes were closed and the long, blue ventilator tube lay in his mouth. His hands were rested by his side and his chest was rising and falling with each staggering breath.  
  
Joey took a deep breath as she steadily walked over to his side. She took his strong hand in hers, and brought it to her face. His finger lay still and his face was draining. Her soft tears fell softly onto the sheets. Joey gazed around the room. Their wedding picture and a copy of The Little Mermaid lay on the table next to him. She had read a piece of it to him yesterday; he had fallen asleep in the middle of her reading. She managed a thin smile as she softly and carefully ran her hand through his thick brown hair.  
  
"Pacey." She whispered quietly as she choked back sobs. "You can't leave me." "I have never lived a life without you, I don't know how to." She sobbed. "Pacey sweetheart, I know you're in so much pain." She grazed his cheek with a finger. "I'm not going anywhere, I will always," she closed her eyes as fresh tears rolled down her red cheeks, "always be there for you, whatever you need sweetheart, I'm not going any where." She paused. "I'm here to ease your pain."  
  
Joey laid her head her head on the bed, still clutching his hand. "Please don't leave me." "You mean the world to me and I love you, I will love you forever." She kissed his hand, laid her head back down and cried in the sheets. "I can't say goodbye to you." She whispered.  
  
Pacey's hand jerked slightly and she lifted her head. His eyes slowly opened and he turned toward her. Those eyes, those tired and exhausted brown eyes looked at her and Joey knew exactly was he was thinking at that moment.  
  
He grasped her hand and gently rubbed it with his thumb. She looked into his tear-drenched eyes as he slowly closed them. Then, with his body desperately trying to hold on, he took one long, last, deep, drawn-in breath. As his hand went limp in hers, a deafening blank sound echoed through Joey's ears.  
  
The nurses quickly rushed in but Joey stopped them, as she laid one last kiss on her husband's warm cheek. He was no longer suffering.  
  
Joey's eyes filled with tears as she walked out of his desolate room. When she walked back to the waiting room, tear-stained faces met her own as she burst out in tears. 


	6. Chapter 5

The rain came down in buckets that cold Tuesday morning. Pacey was gone, his precious life taken so suddenly. There were times when Joey stood in their apartment and could hardly breathe.  
  
Joey stood and looked at her fatigued reflection in the mirror. There was a knock at the door and she slowly opened it to an unsuspecting person. Mr. Witter reached out and enveloped her into a much-needed hug. "I can't believe he's really gone." For the first time in her life, Joey noticed the tears form in his eyes as they rolled down his wrinkled face.  
  
Joey led him into the living room. He wiped his wet eyes with a handkerchief. He noticed their weeding picture on the side table beside him and he picked it up. "Look at that smile," he said "God, I remember that day like it was yesterday." Joey smiled at the comment.  
  
"Did I ever tell you the story of how he asked me to marry him?" Joey asked. "Hm, no, I don't think you have." He said. "Well, he took me ice skating at the Frog Pond, one Saturday night." "I had only ice skated two or three times in my entire life." "Of course, Pacey, the big hockey fan he is, was a natural at it and he could skate ten times better than me." "It was a week before Christmas, and all of the trees around the common were decorated with white twinkle lights, and Christmas music was playing as we circled around the pond." "I hung onto his arm for dear life as I tried my best to skate." "Then, of course, I slipped and down we went." She laughed. "We both started laughing, and right in the middle of it all, he knelt down on one knee, and asked me to be his wife." "I started to cry as he slipped the ring on my finger." "It was magical." "I know now that I'll never take it off for as long as I live."  
  
Joey looked up at him and they both had tears in their eyes. "I miss him so much." Joey said as she started to cry. Pacey's father got up, walked over to her and gave her another hug.  
  
After a minute, they got up and he put a reassuring arm around her shoulder as they walked out the door.  
  
***  
  
The church was decorated beautifully. Red and white flowers were arranged magnificently on the altar. As of all funerals, there was an eerie silence, echoing through the cathedral ceiling. People gave Joey mournful looks, which just made it worse.  
  
Joey slowly walked up to the front of the church, admiring the adornments. Then the slow church hymn started to play as people dear to her, brought in the casket.  
  
This time, Joey couldn't stop the tears, as she knew where her husband was resting. Bessie placed a heartening hand on Joey's shoulder as she too started to cry. Joey watched miserably as the casket was rolled up to the altar and a white cloth was placed on top of it.  
  
***  
  
A thin ray of sunlight cast through the stained glass window onto Joey's tear stained face as she watched Dawson saunter up to the altar.  
  
Dawson's hands gently started to shake as he pulled out notes and a handkerchief his father had given him. He took a deep breath, cleared his throat and began, "Pacey Witter was my best friend." "Over the years, we had our good times, and like any other friendship, we had our hardships." "Some people in my life time have made the irreversible mistake of calling Pacey Witter a failure." "Let me tell you, Pacey was smart, funny, and in not one part of his life was he ever a failure." "He had this great smile that could light up anyone's day." "He always told me what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it." "As I look back on our memories, one sticks out in particular." "Pacey and Jen had gone out sailing out on Pacey's boat, the True Love." "Bad weather and high winds rolled in and the situation became dangerous." "I borrowed a boat to go out and look for him." Dawson wiped the tears that pricked at his eyes. "The waves were really high and it was a miracle that we found them." "That night, as he jumped onto my boat, so I could bring him back to shore, his heart broke as he had to watch all as his good times and memories on the boat sail away without him." "The boat was never seen again, but Pacey stuck around." Dawson managed a thin smile. "And I have realized as I look back on the times we had together, that yeah, some dreams weren't lived, but Pacey was always by my side and that was all that mattered." Dawson tried his best to hold back the tears as he softly started to cry. "I never thanked him for that, throughout the rest of my life I'll remember that he gave me strength." "And in my dreams he will always soar above every hardship." Dawson wiped his eyes, as he stepped down and slowly headed back to his seat.  
  
Before sitting down, he went over to Joey and took her hand for a moment as their red, weary eyes met. He let go and sat back down in the pew.  
  
***  
  
Joey sat quietly as her sad emotions tore her up inside. As she listened to the readings the harsh truths were revealed; Pacey wouldn't come home for dinner, there would be no more late night strolls on the beach, they wouldn't eat together at his restaurant, and they would never grow old together.  
  
Time seemed to slow down as Dawson, Jack, Doug, and Bodie rose from their seats and steadily wheeled the coffin back down the aisle.  
  
A light rain began to fall as they stepped outside. The men slowly raised the casket and stepped down the gray, cement steps. Tears in Doug's eyes began to fall as he gripped tighter on the handle. Carefully and one step at a time, they placed the casket into the back of the hearse.  
  
***  
  
The priest gave beautiful words at the cemetery. Joey was handed a small white rose. She watched as people walked over and placed their flower on top of the casket. Joey cried the hardest she had in her life. But in the comfort of Bessie's embrace, she found the strength to rise and place her flower on top.  
  
She waited for a moment, and put her hand on the coffin and felt the coolness of it. Memories flooded her cloudy mind as she stepped backward. Saying goodbye for one lone, last time. 


	7. Epilogue

Joey walked slowly past the gravestones as the brief sunlight warmed her face. She knew this place all too well, but not for this. For this was her first time visiting someone who should still be alive. Her heart skipped a beat when she came to the now recognizable headstone.  
  
Joey sat down on the grass and placed the flowers on his grave. Tears filled her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away. There was no need to cry. Pacey had given her everything in her life and she was very thankful for everything he did for her.  
  
"Hey honey." She whispered. "I miss you y'know." "Hm, yesterday I drove down here and I stopped at the beach where we used to walk together." "It was windy so I didn't stay long but, I drew my name in the sand like we always used to do." Joey paused for a minute as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "How is heaven?" "Is it like they say it is?" "Well, I already know that you're having a good time up there, you always knew how to have a good time." Joey smiled at the thought.  
  
She grazed his name with a finger and wiped off years of wonderful, unforgettable memories. "I'll talk to you later sweetheart, don't go anywhere." She rose to her feet and before leaving, took one glance at the glittering ocean. A strong wind blew her hair in her face as she smiled.  
  
Joey would always keep Pacey's soul in her warm heart, forever. 


	8. Author's Note

Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I wrote this about two weeks ago, and I said to myself that I wouldn't change the ending no matter what, and because as sad as these stories are, it's really cool to deal with death and all the emotions that result from it. This story is my favorite out of the ones I've written. Oh, and don't get me wrong, I would never really want Pacey to die, but like I said this was an enjoyable story to write, and despite the turnout I hope you guys like it. Sayonara!  
  
Caitlin 


End file.
